Anger

"I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry."
-- Maxine Waters, in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989

Tips about Hate, Rage & Violence

Tip #1: unpopular emotions such as rage and hatred, once felt and released via some personal growth process, allow us much increased richness in other aspects of our emotional lives and a sense of freedom we lost long ago. Most of us have unnecessary difficulties with violence, hate and rage. Avoidance of these difficult feelings only serves to make us feel more comfortable temporarily, just the way alcohol, smoking or food can be used to make us feel better temporarily.

Tip #2: if you avoid any feelings (rage and hate included) long enough, such feelings will come to dominate your life and you will live your life in fear of them.

Tip #3: is it "wrong" to feel hate and rage? No, most of us have such feelings, though the majority of us block them well. (The inner child is the one who feels hatred and needs to rage.)

Tip #4: so many articles, books and therapies have focused in recent years upon managing the emotions of hate & rage that millions of us have come to see management as the best that therapy can offer. Not! IMO the far superior alternative to management of difficult emotions is resolution. Yes, resolution usually requires us to face our deepest issues.

Tip #5: to resolve our deepest issues, we must accept our inner rages and hates, find their sources, express them (and other core emotions) in appropriate places, and watch them dissipate as a result. This may be difficult, but it it far less time-consuming than a lifelong struggle to "manage" these difficult emotions.

Anger Management

Anger is probably the most poorly handled emotion in our society. From time to time, all of us experience this powerful feeling.

Some of the most common causes of anger include: hurt; frustration; annoyance; harassment; disappointment; and threats.

Anger can be our friend or enemy; it depends on the way in which we choose to express it. Knowing how to recognize and express it appropriately can help us to reach our goals, solve problems, handle emergencies, and protect our health. A failure to recognize and understand one's anger can lead to a variety of personal difficulties.